April 06, 2010


January 25, 2008 -

A lot of things have changed here lately in the past 48 hours.  I sit here on Friday night enjoying a great band called "Band of Horses".   They are this great down tempo kind of melodic rock band that I when I heard of them I really enjoyed their first CD.  And like I mentioned elsewhere I purchased over 200 dollars in CD's (from Christmas gift cards) and had them arrive in mid-January.  They are currently ripped onto my portable hard drive and are now part of iTunes.  Just have to organize them and tag them.

It just started to hit me as the echoish melodies filled my ears that a lot of things have hit me all at once.  Just all of the stuff that is currently happening right now just hit me tonight.  I won't go into details because you guys really don't read blogs for that reason.  It's basically just all of the stuff that I'm going to have to prepare for when my family is no longer here in town with me. It is a change that I wait for. Anxiously.

On a good note, I have everything ready to play hockey.  I just need to get my shorts from Brillo and pay and get my shoulders, elbow pads, and shin guards from his buddy at work.  Everything else is set besides the most important thing.  Ice hockey skates.  Those I already have my eye on and have received pretty much everything else in the mail.  Surprisingly I have this nervous tick when I am out shopping for things.  I really don't like to deal with salespeople, or people like that in general.

I really wish that they would come up with a system so if I actually needed help I would press a buzzer that I grabbed whenever I walked into the store and it would alert the tenant.  That way I wouldn't get bothered by a pre-teen zitly faced punk kid who gets to bang the hot high school chick behind the counter when I have SKILLS!  He gets to do that and pop in 20 seconds and me, a man with grown man skills doesn't get a chance......all because its supposedly "illegal"......:P  I keed I keed.  I don't have any skills.  That's one of my good points.  Don't have to worry about that crap with me.

I also don't like malls so most of my purchasing was done at the comfort of my home computer after I used their sizing guides to pick out most of my gear.  I did buy 2 practice jerseys (white) and had to try them on to see exactly what size I was.  But everything else the sizing guides on their website did a pretty good job of fitting me.  And the helmet I got was adjustable.  Decided NOT to go with a full cage mask for hockey.  Decided to go with an Oakley half-shield just like Mickey Ribs on the ice.  I figure it gives me enough protection for my face and covers all the way to my upper lip.  I mean, think about it, the most sensitive part of your body (your eyes) are protected by just a thin row of small 1/32 of an inch hairs (eyelashes).

I've put myself in this position, I've made this all my own.  And I have to figure a way out of it.  Because sometimes you just have do things yourself whenever nobody else is going to help you.  You have to prove to yourself that you can do it.  And prove to every little shit out there that says you can't do it, and when you do you turn around feel like you should punch them in the face.  But you let them know you did it and you move on.  Then when the next little bump comes along you look around for that same person (or any person for that matter) to tell you you can't do something.  They aren't there, it's empty.  And sometimes its those people that you miss the most.  When you do your task for yourself, you can truly be happy.  Because when you meet that special someone out there that will complete your world, you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that it's there.  It's always been there.

You have to take everything like its the last time.  When you do that you will come out on the other side a better person and happier.  I just have to get that mentality through my head and get over it........almost there, really I am, just need someone on the sidelines to say I can't do something.......