Alcohol: The Real Gamer Fuel

For me, drinking and video games go hand in hand on a Friday and Saturday night.  We've all done it at some point.  It starts as a seed in our younger years when we drink juice boxes before the next level of Sonic loads up.  We graduate later in life to sodas and Soft-n-Chewy Chips Ahoy before taking on that next passenger in Crazy Taxi.  Then it blossoms from the sugar high to the adult beverage.

So as an “adult” (I use that term loosely when referring to myself) we carry the torch into alcoholic beverages; mixing them in with our next-gen video games.  Drinking and gaming can be fun, or it can totally fuck up your game save forever.

Who Doesn't Want To Have Sex With An Orc?

Over the next couple of weeks, I plan on re-posting a few of my featured articles from my old site Loot Ninja.  These aren't time sensitive, so they'll be prevalent now, and later on.  So to kick this process off, I figured I'd start with the only real "news" I had.  Now I know some of you really tapped into the gaming world probably already know about this, but for those of you that don't - read on.

I'm Sick And Tired Of Being Sick And Tired......

Man, I really should come back around here more often. I promised to try and update this shit every week or so, but I've really slacked off on that promise. I honestly had no idea how troublesome, painful, and mind-boggingly intense buying a house is.

"Okay, here's a form that says that you won't rent the house your buying out to a homeless person, kill them, shit down their neck and dump their body in the back yard. And this form? This is the form that says you won't rent out the house to a homeless person, stab them and leave them for dead. It's kind of the same deal, but we couldn't put it on the same form as the killing, shitting, and dumping the body in the back yard form. Also, on that form, could you initial here? That's just saying that the excrement on the body an option."

Guy Finally Cums After 38 Years

This dude definitely has big meaty balls.

I just love the music that's featured with this video.  It's almost Top Gun music.  Like he went into the danger zone with his cum or something.  I'd have to agree with myself.  It's a normal bodily function (cumming) that needs to happen after the age of 16, probably once a week, if not more.  Just saying.....

Part of me wants to believe that this is real, but part of me knows that there is a fetish for guys that like to pump saline or other substances chemical substances into their ball-sack to inflate it.  We've all seen the huge dong pornos (and the ptyerydactyl porn) that feature coconut milk or something that looks like cum, but it's obviously too much.  

I'll let you guys decide.

Some See A Negative, I See A "Stump Fucker"

For everyone out there that doesn't follow me on a regular basis - okay, that's everyone - I work a second job as a valet car parking running-type person.  I take your car keys, get in your vehicle, and drive around for about 45 minutes to an hour until you come back outside and ask for it back.  Only if it's a good car though.  I run Neon's and Dodge Journeys into a fucking ditch.