September 10, 2010

"Dinner Ready.......Is Pizza?"

That's it? Fucking pizza?  I'm gonna fucking shove my cock so far inside your throat and make you gag on it that I want you to spit up part of your lung you stupid bitch.  I work for 9 hours each day and I come home and the fucking dinner that you "slaved" over was picking up the phone and dialing someone else to do YOUR job.  Unbelievable.  You get what you deserved bitch.  Now after we eat this shitty pizza I expect you to make me pie.  Blueberry pie.  With homemade whipped cream on top.  That will teach you.  And you just let me put it in your vagina and blow my seed.  Stupid fucking cum dumpster.

June 30, 2010

Man, It's Been Awhile.

Just figured I'd pop in and lay down some random thoughts.

Right now the day job is going great I guess.  I really just have to look busy and the people around me just leave me alone.  There are some days that I really don't want to come to work because I know I'll be behind a computer all day just checking Facebook, reading funny internet stories and blogging.  I can do that shit at home?  Why do I need to wake up at 7:30am and go to work for that?  I've continuously kind of molded and made my job into what I want.  Now I'm able to reap the benefits of relaxing and doing the same old shit everyday.  NOTHING!

I look at so much shit sometimes and open so many Firefox tabs that I crash my workstation.  I guess 4GB of RAM and a Xeon 2.4GHz processor isn't good enough? 

I've started a Word document now with about 3 full pages of just web links.  Just videos I need to watch.  It's my new Tivo.  I feel empty or behind if I don't see all of the shit the internet has to offer that day.  I keep wanting to go home after work and just sit there for hours and watch all of them, but there is this unmitigated force called Jen that lives in my cave as well.  Can't really ignore the Grendel monster that hangs on the couch and reads all the damn time.  Oops! Love you babe (if you read this).  But back to what I was saying, I have a long list of things to watch, read and listen to, as well as write up for Loot Ninja.

April 06, 2010

Picture Of 1,000 Words Is Worth More.....

November 25, 2008 -

Well, I'm off to see the family in Tennessee, and figured I would leave you with some funny sayings that I ran across on the internet.  Take them all to heart, there were a lot more but all of these tickled my fancy (and my cockles).  This is my sense of humor.  This is me through other peoples words.  Take them for yourself, read them and enjoy them.  Should make for an interesting read I promise you that........

See you guys on Tuesday of next week when I get back!  You guys have a very safe and happy Thanksgiving.  I'll be at happy hour on the next Tuesday (Dec. 2nd) to let everyone know what I think of Ghostbusters: The Video Game, and every subsequent Tuesday after that until I beat the game! WOOHOO!  Still fucking excited about that shit........

Cheers,
Justin M.


Wolves Are Still Cool Right?

November 17, 2008 -

On my way into work the other day (I know I know, most of my blogs come from me driving) and I saw something incredibly funny that I figured I needed to tell you all about.  I was sitting in traffic like I normally do around 7:40am or so and saw a big white Chevy 4x4 truck in the lane next to me on my right. 

No biggie, trucks pass me all the time, I am one of those lame guys that leave about 5 car lengths in front of me to keep the flow of traffic moving.  Love me or hate me and cut me off, it works and gets people through traffic faster.  If you leave enough room to continue a flow of traffic it will continue to flow and then build up speed, until whats that? No more traffic jam! That's what I thought...........so SHUT YOUR FACE!

Things I Hear At Work

November 12, 2008 -

I have a pretty laid back work atmosphere where I go to work.  I get to wear t-shirts and jeans to work every single muthafucking day.  It's always a casual week for me.  Fuck that "Casual Friday" bullshit in other places.  I go casual every weekday or I don't go at all.  That's how I roll bitches. 



My Dreams Are Weird

October 23, 2008 -

Well, I have two dreams to tell you guys about, I usually don't dream when I sleep, its usually just whiteness (or darkness) and I just wake up and go about my day.  In the past week or so I have had two dreams stick out in my mind and come to the frontal lobe part of my brain (or wherever that memory part comes from).

Are You Kidding Me?

August 26, 2008 -


I was on my way home on a very hot and humid day here in the Metroplex.  Off into the MINI with no A/C, to put on my shades and get the best damn trucker tan I know (left arm tan from being propped up on the door and the right one being inside)!  I turned my usual right hand turn onto the service road and began my long arduous journey back to the casa.  It's not too far I suppose, only about 30 minutes or so WITH traffic?  It used to be a 45 minute drive from the Mound of Flowers and over an hour and 30 minutes from that Egyptian land known as Keller.  Didn't they have the Olympics out there? Because I could have sworn that Beijing and Keller are side by side. Oh well........


Blah Blah Blog



July 6, 2008 -


Well, its been awhile since I have posted a blog.  So figured I would just title it "Blah Blah Blog" and run with it.  And we are already off to a big bang because I have already said "tit" in "title". So there.  Not even three sentences in and I have a cuss word in this blog.  Nice Justin.  Very typical.


Ninja Hijack Survey


June 25, 2008 -

How old are you/will you be on your golden birthday?

Golden birthday? What and when the fuck is that?  Isn't that when I will be 90 or something? That is pretty much dust stacked high enough to be considered a person by law. That's it.

Are you the oldest child in your family?

Yes as a matter of fact I am.  Oldest of 4 kids. So I know at least my parents had sex 4 times........GROSS! HAHA!




Piss Fetish Survey


June 9, 2008 -


1.  When was the last time you showered?


This morning before work, its my routine in the morning to wake my stanky ass up!

 2.  When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Ummmm, last night I suppose over the phone? We talked about Rock Band and it was a very special moment.

For The Freaks



April 30, 2008 -


Hello there freaks!  I know I know.  Not all of you are this way, in fact, some of you are rather tame compared to me.  But I figured I would let you guys in on some of my random thoughts and ideas.  This story that I will read you is not supposed to be exciting or erotic in anyway.  It is for a bit called Sextastic Tuesday on my favorite podcast Distorted View.  I was driving home one day and was listening to Tim read an erotic story (if you want to call it that) about a huge fat woman sitting in front of a tv screen eating food.  She had a bucket of chicken, and all sorts of side fixings to go with it.  Now, since it is called Sextastic Tuesday it is supposed to creep you out and get you twisted just a bit.  So, what happens in the story is she starts to picture the head of Howie Mandel on the end of a chicken leg and proceeds to stick it in her vagina.  Pretty fucked up huh?  Well, that's the kind of thing you come to expect from Sextastic Tuesday stories.  People shoving maggots in their cooters, fingering themselves in Chinese Restaurant dumpsters, it all is out there and is just off the wall.  Some of them are off of Literotica.com where they have tons of stories.  Others are submitted by listeners of the show who have a good idea for a story and want to send it his way.

Easter Weekend


March 26, 2008 -

Yes that's right.  Just had a weird Easter weekend last week.  Did the normal stuff I guess you could say, but in my head it was weird.  I guess I am that type of guy.  I sit here in the Comfort Suites in Houston drinking a Rolling Rock beer (my 4th of the night) and enjoying the dark hotel suite with a little iTunes music set on shuffle.  My weekend Easter weekend was uneventful to say the least, but as most of you know I tend to pick up on weird instances and extrapolate them completely out of proportion.

Random Thoughts.......


March 20, 2008 -

1.  I can throw a foam ball across all 6 of my coworkers cubicles against a wall and it will bounce right back into my hand.  Sadly it nicked my Dallas Stars bobble head ice rink and kinda tore off a piece of Turco's shit mitt. I swear, that thing looks freaking HORRIBLE! Thank you little kids from the Philippines!

I Hate Expensive People......

March 6, 2008 -

Can you get ass fucked by a Blackberry? Because I did........

Wednesday wasn't a very good day for me.  It started off okay at work and I got most of my tasks done that needed to be done.  My buddy Adam had secured some tickets for me and a friend to go to a Stars game that night to see the lucious Hagman/Richards/Miettinen combo on the ice.  Well, I being the great fan that I am am always up for seeing the Stars.  I don't care if we are going up against the Red Wings and I just KNOW that we are going to lose (sometimes not by my boy Hagman for putting in the only goal in that game) I still want to go and hear the airhorn and jump out of my seat.  It's a great experience and a good way to watch people in between periods.

Do I Have Bad Taste?


February 28, 2008 -

I'm just curious if I have bad taste or not?  It hit me on Saturday last weekend when I was mainly watching afternoon TV.  I of course was bored and figured I could catch up on my TV shows on DVD to watch.  I have a few in the chamber that I need to finish up.  I was flipping around trying to be lazy and avoid setting up the DVD player.  A few movies hit me in the face and were definitely keepers to finish off.  First was Showtime getting right into the Shawshank Redemption.  Morgan Freeman, Tim Robbins and the story makes this movie one of the greatest ever.  I could probably watch the final 20 minutes forever in eternity in purgatory.  Morgan Freeman's voice over and the final few scenes of Red in the corn field next to the large oak tree on the northeast corner.  Just greatness.  And then after I get my fill of that (some say I have ADD) I switch over to AMC and catch another great movie in the form of the Memphis Belle.  A lot of great actors you never thought were in this movie were in it.  John Lithgow plays a great military officer that gives the Belle special treatment against the other flight crews.  All of the memorable characters like the guy who played "Rudy" being the ball turret gunner and even a good start from Harry Connick Jr.

Fuck You Ashley Of Flower Mound!


February 17, 2008 -

Well, on Friday of this past week I was headed home in the cold February evening.  I slipped into my car and plugged in the ipod.  Usually my schedule consists of listening to the Adam Carolla Show out of LA in podcast form on my drive into work.  It's great, and isn't your typical Dallas morning radio show.  There are no time updates, no weather forecasts, no traffic reports, nothing like that.  It's strictly a talk show in Adam's sense of the word.  And being from LA I kinda  like that its not the standard formula of morning radio, traffic, weather, news, news, weather, traffic, time, and then they start all over again without ever getting into any deep conversations.

The Best Thing You Can Do With Your Mouth.......


February 9, 2008 -

Well, I better update this damn blog thing, and figured I could get your attention with a headline like that.  I did didn't I?  Well, good. I'll fill you in on that later......

I find myself more and more these days not doing what I should be doing.  I seem to keep forgetting things left and right.  Later I try to backtrack and say what I "should" be doing in that instance and that I forgot.  This sucks for me because I am always behind the curve.  I always get whats second best.  And its never 100% out there in the open for everyone to see.  I have had to turn around numerous times at night to go back into places and have almost walked away from something that is potentially great.  I have not said something and then tried to say it later.  In the end the moment passed and it just didn't work.

WOW!


January 25, 2008 -

A lot of things have changed here lately in the past 48 hours.  I sit here on Friday night enjoying a great band called "Band of Horses".   They are this great down tempo kind of melodic rock band that I when I heard of them I really enjoyed their first CD.  And like I mentioned elsewhere I purchased over 200 dollars in CD's (from Christmas gift cards) and had them arrive in mid-January.  They are currently ripped onto my portable hard drive and are now part of iTunes.  Just have to organize them and tag them.

Oh Well.......


January 18, 2008 -

Well, another week is upon us, and another week is behind us.  Pretty soon we'll be around Christmas time again and wondering what we are going to do next year.  I myself don't know where I will be in a year, what I will be doing, who I will be with, and overall where my life will be going.  I think of this as a good quality.  I don't want to change that.  I've changed before to accommodate others but in the end when that was over it was the best damn thing to happen to me.  I think this quality brings spontaneity into my life and tells me to go for it every single day.

Weekend of Ballz and Gunz!

October 22, 2007 -

Had a great weekend out in the country with a few of my very close friends.  We left on Friday and headed up to Yarnaby, Oklahoma.  It is a town that is literally 3 buildings, a cemetery, and there are probably 3 times more cattle than people.  The wild hogs that roam the countryside out there probably outnumber the humans! :D

Paying Off The MINI!


April 18, 2007 -

Well, people! It took me a little while to do it, and I struggled for the past 5 months to get it done and over with. But I was only late on my car payment maybe 4 or 5 times out of 60 payments? :D WOOHOO! Look at that credit score go up BABY! I'm at 730 BITCHES! Anyway, I sent off my last payment last month and they finally sent me my title and all the paperwork I filled out way back when I signed for the car when I lived in Arkansas.

Gulf Shores Vacation Writeup!


August 17, 2007 -

Well this past week or two ago I went on a family vacation/reunion with my entire Mom's side of the family.  Our trip plans had us setup in a nice little condo in Gulf Shores, Alabama on the beachfront.  What happened next was probably one of the worst weeks of my life.........And I'll tell you why shortly.

Comedic GOLD!


August 17, 2007 -

I love hanging out with a few close friends and some good conversation! I love the fact that you can start a paragraph and with everyone contributing to the story it rolls off the tongue and comes out like you inserted food into your anus and the turd comes out of your mouth! (South Park reference) Placenta pate' with grape nuts as a coating? I have no idea what THAT is all about, but it was one of the many topics that was discussed last night at one of my good friends Mr. McBee's birthday get-together.

Ghostbusters: The Video Game


In November of 2007, I was trolling the dredges of craigslist looking for my latest fix of tranny for males.  I had found a few promising leads but felt nothing fit my "down and dirty" nature I like to keep in the bedroom.  There was the overweight lady who wanted to try and have sex while I played the NES version of Super Mario Bros.  She would change her style according to how I was playing, and absolutely ABSOLUTELY no use of the warp zones.  If you so much as use those its over, lights cum on, your done......get out! No finishing for you.