August 15, 2011

Who Doesn't Want To Have Sex With An Orc?

Over the next couple of weeks, I plan on re-posting a few of my featured articles from my old site Loot Ninja.  These aren't time sensitive, so they'll be prevalent now, and later on.  So to kick this process off, I figured I'd start with the only real "news" I had.  Now I know some of you really tapped into the gaming world probably already know about this, but for those of you that don't - read on.

I know I said in my previous post that I was going to be taking a break from posting video game news and what-not, but every now and then you stumble across some gaming news that needs to be shared.  This is one of those stories.

A company called D-Dub Software (sounds like a porn company) - not affiliated with 40 ounce bounce - is in fact working on a video game to spoof the characters and lore of World of Warcraft.  It will give gamers all over the world the opportunity to do what they have always wanted to do but can’t in Blizzard Software’s million copy selling game:  have sex with a hot female orc creature.

The game (as you can expect) is not safe for work and features adult themes, sexual acts and allows the gamer to go on an “erotic fantasy quest”.  There really isn’t a whole lot of other information (like you need any) on the game at this point, but imagine a Leisure Suit Larry-type experience or other similar adult titles and tell it to have sex with World of Warcraft characters.  What you get as a baby from that is the game BoneCraft.

Here’s the description for the trailer:

Somewhere, in some galaxy, a peaceful land of orcs and elves is about to be torn apart. A mighty spacecraft hurtles through the sky, filled with invaders from a planet far away. They call themselves the Good Ol’ Boys, but the elves fear nothing good will come of their visit. These drunken space marines are about to discover that the planet harbors the most precious commodity in the universe: elf pussy. Can the elves vanquish this new enemy before they discover the secret elf brothels? Will the horny orcs be able to resist the charms of their sexy elf neighbors? And how will they defeat the most frightening enemy of all?

BoneCraft follows in line well with D-Dub Software’s other hit “BoneTown”, from 2010.  In BoneTown, you could snort cocaine or do drugs, punch hippies in the face, and then have sex with stuff (probably ladies’ vaginas).  BoneCraft is set to be more of the same, only filled with side-quests, battles, and something a small group of gamers already want to have sex with:  half-naked bikini clad elves.

The trailer on the official site is hilarious (and stupid) and I highly suggest going out and watching it (if you can).  It’s definitely not safe for work viewing so be careful, but you really can’t beat watching a General Knoxx-like character from Borderlands popping through a red silk curtain to a love-bed with what looks like a mechanical cock and balls for 3 scantily clad elven creatures.  I can’t make this shit up.

There isn’t a set release date for BoneCraft, but we expect to hear and see something around the end of the year, so be sure to get your hands - and your lotion ready - cum.....I mean come December.